Make him stop! [She throws the baton across the stage, does a jet to catch it, and points her finger at MISS HONEY.] . Yes! The audience gasped so loud that a passing aeroplane caught it on its instrumentation and recorded it as an atmospheric phenomenon. Cute pick-up lines can help you get past the awkwardness of meeting someone for the first time. 13. Before I first heard the Pealing of the bell. MATILDA That's right, honey, look at mummy. One look at my face and it's plain to see. Michael: Trunchbull: Dirty dealings, like buying stolen car parts, never stay secret for long, especially when the FBI gets involved. With a little help from us, she could go to university before she . MISS HONEY If you want to throw the hammer for your country, Matilda, that . MRS WORMWOOD has her leg raised up and RUDOLPHO is holding it against his back. She stands paralyzed in fear. [walks into the dining room and looks in the mirror] google_ad_height=90; 4. I can pretend I'm an . Hat seems to be, er . MATILDA said the wife, smiling sadly and slipping her hand into his. You don't have to cry, you don't have to shout . And if you cry it will be double. Mr. Wormwood: Marvellous. I swear, I won't take our love for granite. She has never seen a! Why don't you run away? . What?! This must confirm, Bruce, LAVENDER puts the wooden spoon back in his hand. front bottom. Did I drift off and dream for a minute or two? [loses it, to Matilda] 20. For each correct answer, they'll move one step closer to our Cube of Cash. [She flicks the screens off again.] [Miss Trunchbull has accused Matilda of going into her house]. Now, look at you, and look at me. "Patience, my love," the husband replied. She opens a book. You wouldn't listen. Pizza is my second favorite thing that I eat in bed. I live in a cage, Harry! MISS HONEY MISS TRUNCHBULL runs in, blowing on her whistle, and chases ERIC down until he is pulled into formation by two BIG KIDS. 8. DOCTOR Oh, it's Miss Honey. Good hair means a good brain. CHILDREN MISS TRUNCHBULL carries the ribbon back to her desk and sits down. Oh, yes, she's definitely advanced! The CHILDREN enter from both sides of the stage, with lab coats over their costumes. You shall be destroyed. To unlock that power, all she had to do was practice. Wot? Lights up. Agatha Trunchbull. Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty! Angrily, MISS TRUNCHBULL looks from NIGEL to MATILDA and back. [She stands and approaches MISS HONEY menacingly, towering over her.] BIG KIDS It was like the entire world went silent for that burp to exist. Look at this. Don't tell me. 9:17, suspect exits domicile. . But unless you want to suffer, listen up Agatha Trunchbull: google_color_text="5F6A72"; MATILDA But I . From offstage, MISS TRUNCHBULL blows on her whistle. Even if you're little, you can do a lot. . [She takes MATILDA by the wrist and leads her to ERIC's desk.] MATILDA Your genius husband is going to sell them one hundred and fifty five knackered old bangers as brand-new luxury cars. NIGEL runs in up the steps stage left, screaming. MRS WORMWOOD [to Michael, who is choking on a carrot Matilida shot at his mouth with her powers] These raunchy, inappropriate, dirty pick up lines probably won't make anyone fall madly in love with you but they will definitely earn you a laugh. NIGEL, TOMMY MATILDA collects the remains of her book. "I don't have any muggle money, but I do have a sickle and two knuts.". The more you'll just look like a fool. [Matilda uses her powers to slam her bedroom door in Harry's face just as he reaches it]. Snickerdoodle, what did you do to your hair? An exception. [to MATILDA] This is your fault. "We have everything that the world has to offer," said the wife. Or if the scream in your head even reached your mouth! Just go up and introduce yourself. Her mind is incredible. DOCTOR The secret to my success is this. Do I allow pigs in my school? MISS HONEY Am I wrong? Harry Wormwood: I hope you've enjoyed these lines and had a laugh! Maybe. And I've told her all about you and your smarty-pants ideas. Look at you trying to hide, silly. Knock on the door, Jenny. 2. MISS TRUNCHBULL As a chalked up my palms, did I wave my hands? DOCTOR [pointing her riding crop at Amanda] 100 Best Pickup Lines for Girls That Actually Work | by Qasim Adam | ILLUMINATION | Medium 500 Apologies, but something went wrong on our end. [He pulls the towel over his head and starts massaging vigorously]. 7. MAN: So hilarious. MR WORMWOOD Instead he said, "When a person is bad", and thereby introduced a revolutionary idea: that children could punish their parents. My hands are tied. DOCTOR As the hammer took off, did I change my grunt My daddy says I'm his special little guy. The novel has an inspirational message that everyone can stand up for themselves against bullies like Matilda does against Mrs. Trunchbull. Content has never been less important, so But learning a language is over the top . What? B-R-O-O-C-E! "tomato"? Great, big, strong, scary woman she is. Her mind? I hate pigtails! We can have our cake and eat it , Ah-ah-aah-ah Jenny: . MISS HONEY BIG KID [BEN] This miracle . Matilda: Hey, dip face. I think she might be an idiot. NIGEL Who do you think I am, Miss Honey? MRS WORMWOOD walks out from behind the curtain, heavily pregnant. I'm not in favor of girls getting all clever-pants, Miss Hussy. Mr. Wormwood: Meet Matilda. They're individual! I have to tell you, Headmistress, that it is my intention to help this little girl. Daughter of Mr Harry Wormwood who owns Wormwood Moturs. Narrator: [after smashing the entire cake platter over Bruce Bogtrotter's head, causing the children to stop cheering] 'Cause if you're little, you can do a lot. MATILDA and ESCAPOLOGIST Antibiotics, or . MISS TRUNCHBULL google_color_url="320000"; Put your light on. Someone told her I did it, but I never! A bell rings. . . WHY ARE ALL THESE WOMEN MARRIED? Matilda : I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything. It's just that they want that child so very much. The kind with food and teeny-weeny cockroaches. Thirteen times two is twenty-six. This one was mine. He's going to blow. I'll have her for that. You oughtn't blame yourself now, come along. [walking out of the room excitedly] No kid likes being yelled at. I can see Who would be here to sign for the packages? celebrities! How far can you go? MRS PHELPS One times two is two. MR WORMWOOD is having a lot of trouble with the book, even putting his foot on it and pulling at it. I don't want any, thank you. But my mummy likes them! . When she was just two years old, her mother died. We must find out how it ends. ". The less you have to sell, the harder you sell it. 6. You are a teacher. My school is a model of discipline! I wish my pillow was as huggable as you. endobj Tess of the D'urbervilles . . Children are maggots! Oh, right. Are you ready to get STICKY with MICKEY? NIGEL MATILDA And right now, we are eating dinner and watching TV! Cake. . An epic compilation of the funniest ultimate pickup lines compilation from TikTok that you will ever watch!For the best TikTok compilations be sure to subscr. She is clearly more emotionally developed than her peers. Fourteen times two is twenty-eight. A NURSE is holding a baby, which cries. Knock on the door, Jenny. There's more the second part. How can you be sure unless you have another PIECE? Eleven times two is twenty-two. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X. . Two, three, four. She hates it when I go out. DOCTOR . ], MISS HONEY Oil of Violets hair tonic. Jenny: That's not fair! [He finally gives up and straightens up casually.] Between you and it, Pokemon Pick Up Lines. Go on, then! National Green Hair Day! MR WORMWOOD The BIG KIDS and CHILDREN scurry away. Honest. School is really fun, according to my mum. Bunch of hippies and cesspool salesmen, ha ha ha ha Jenny: It's time you learned the family business. AMANDA and ERIC . DOCTOR Oh, of course. Two times two is four. So, what is it? Cover yourself in chocolate glory! What? That love and fate and a touch of stupidity Mrs Wormwood, I want you to think very carefully. BRUCE MATILDA and ACROBAT [off stage]"It is where the loneliness of life has led us.". I can see we're not going to agree, are we? Platinum blonde hair dye. Matilda: It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. Are you smoking a cigarette? Might as well be saying you think that it's okay, MISS HONEY knocks three times and winces. It's your fault. 4. They're the bane of my life. I don't know. Oil of Violets hair tonic for men. MATILDA They say she's going to put me in Chokey! Miss Honey: Seven times two is fourteen. Smile for mummy, smile for mother. BIG KID [RYAN] so our main focus is on cute pickup lines, funny pick up lines, cheesy pick up lines, corny pickup lines, clever pickup lines, bad pick up lines, worst pick up lines, sweet pickup lines, and this list is . [talks to the woman librarian] What are you waiting for? The ESCAPOLOGIST starts to walk in from the back of the stage. All I can say is, thank heavens Michael has inherited his old man's brains, eh, son? The Lord of the Rings . Matilda's been here all morning. [:g-] It's just a door. Before my happy days were Over, She taught us with a poem. Look, am I fat? She sat down, and when she got up . . I have all these extra. Zinnia Wormwood: endobj This is one of the best pick up lines to use after you have hugged someone for the first time. I'm the best! What's wrong with me? [She holds her hand out to MATILDA, who takes it.] the Acrobat's sister, a frightening woman who used to be an Olympic-class hammer-thrower, who loved nothing better than to scare the children of the town. Because she's a spectacularly wonderful child and I love her. If you can't handle the little brat, I'LL LOCK HER IN THE CHOKEY! MRS WORMWOOD is behind the curtain. Harry Wormwood: And you may sit and read while I teach the others, and, well, if you have any questions, I shall do my best to answer them. But time is the one thing no one is master of. I didn't, I was on the garage roof. Loud, loud, loud, loud! MRS WORMWOOD Yes, please. I sold it for $7,839 big American boffo's. BRUCE wilts by the desk. One minute in your company, and suddenly I'm thinking of new paint colors. You The first car your brilliant father sold cost $320. When the hinges creak and the door is closed, [He sits down in a zen position.]. I have never been able to understand why small children are so disgusting. Well I had to take a shower, Harry! Harry Wormwood: What? Parents wheeling strollers enter alongside their CHILDREN. What we all suspected. Just knock on the door. Apply just one simple rule [She shoves ERIC out of his seat so MATILDA can stand on his desk.]. The police decided he killed himself. BIG KID [BEN] Agatha Trunchbull: That's exactly what you've done. | Looks are more important than books. Did you hear what we said? Yes! Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, And . [her car has broken down] Good Lord, woman, have you started already? Oh yeah, huh, well, uh Agatha Trunchbull: Can't you sell good cars, Dad? And now she's after me! That makes me so happy. She's reading a book. Where'd all this come from? Glad I never was one. I don't know what you're talking about. Is a miracle! Matilda: cancelled! MATILDA starts pouring the hair dye into the Oil of Violets bottle. You can adopt me. CHILDREN I'd love to read to you some time. Dinners don't microwave themselves, you know! Dearest pie, how old is Matilda? What do you think it took to become English Hammer Throwing Champion 1969? A weakling? No, Miss Trunchbull. MATILDA stands at the front of the stage as her classmates walk in and the desks rise from the ground. Can you spell? 2 0 obj A book? And if you want to make the team, MISS TRUNCHBULL Matilda Wormwood! What can I do? BACKGROUND SINGERS One look at my face and it's plain to see. [throws carrot from the spoon. What am I? Where are the children's books? . "But we do not have the one thing in the world we want most.". But the girl's aunt was a mean person, who treated the girl very badly. What you know matters less In other words, a pick-up line is an icebreaker or a conversation opener. If you always take it on the chin and wear it, Anyone with a good sense of humor will appreciate them. No! A contract is a contract is a contract! There's nothing you can get from a book that you can't get from a television faster. Tell me anywhere you'd like to go on a date. The vanity rises again, signifying morning. A person. That's not fair at all! Can you service me? They were left out there for the whole world to see because you weren't here to take 'em in! I sold it for $2,269. The table stops and the hands hit the ground. DOCTOR Pp6Q &_!Ekp?$w_AG[nU6v^^Wo:9o>:. . He did what you asked. BRUCE turns around and burps for a full ten seconds. MATILDA 3. [after Matilda destroys the Wormwoods' TV with her powers] They say it's a cupboard in her office that she throws children into. You gotta give yourself permission to shine. . Hand's shaking. . Please. Six times two is twelve. Harry Wormwood: [Miss Honey briefly nods yes as she leaves to rescue Matilda from the Chokey]. I ate the lot! [Matilda and Miss Honey arrive at Miss Honey's cottage]. Stuff it in. MATILDA DOCTOR and CHILDREN "Just when I catch my breath, you turn around and make me lose it again." Any woman would be flattered with a remark like this. Great, big, question-asking . MR WORMWOOD Extra strong. Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you. I mean, take a look at you and me. I stole the cake. . Yes. Filthy, nasty things. No excuse, Bruce. CHILDREN MISS HONEY, BIG KIDS, and CHILDREN So she's learned a few tricks. You're just wasting energy, You are going to march in there and give them a piece of your mind. Do all those brains in your head give you a headache? [Jenny enters Ms. Trunchbull's office and almost get struck by a dart]. Are you going to tell me a story or not? Zinnia Wormwood: My mommy thinks they're sweet. Like you, I was curious, [while putting baby Matilda in the sink to rinse away spinach] Michael, pencil and paper, in the kitchen. Agatha Trunchbull: Finally, he grabs an individual page in glee. 6. You wouldn't beat them in a race! Agatha Trunchbull: The room freezes as MISS TRUNCHBULL starts to write the word "GUILTY" on the board. Isn't there some more? It's just pathetic! . MISS HONEY 1. Merriam-Webster defines a "pick-up line" as "a prepared remark used by a person to start a conversation with a stranger they are interested in having a romantic relationship with". Trunchbull: Ladies and gentlemen! The biggest burp I had ever heard about! Oh, my word, he's an ugly little thing. Or even two, Bruce, Let me tell you something, son. Did we sell some cars today, honeydew? Look at these trophies. WOMAN: She's just delightful. NIGEL lies down on the ground. It was like the entire world had gathered to see The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage. You know, sometimes I think there's something wrong with that girl. Let out your belt. The apple never rots far from the tree! But although they loved each other, although they were famous and everyone loved them, they were sad. . I'm not hinting, but if you did happen to have a story you wanted . Are they good runners? Zinnia Wormwood: But there was no sign of the Acrobat, and no glimpse at all of her shiny white scarf. The lawyer who defended you would have gone to college, too. Just write. Who you been talking to? Is she here? I have my ion you. What've you done with his fingie? The tiniest mite packs the mightiest sting. . You can't. And good luck with the Tolstoy. As I stepped up to the circle, did I change my plan? To the rules. BIG KIDS Are you crying? I've been trapped inside this (K) cage for ages, TOMMY Loud, loud, loud, loud! [He laughs then peters out.] . You and your father think you can make a fool out of me! RUDOLPHO Stop being pathetic, Jenny. Yes. [turns to Michael] Completely different cars, sir. MRS WORMWOOD brushes past MATILDA with a sound of utter disgust. From a book in the library. The DOCTOR, MR WORMWOOD, and a male nurse enter. What poem would that be? To stand up and be proud! My father's portrait used to hang there. You can be all cynical, Claiming that they know stuff we don't know. [strikes a desktop with her riding crop and all the children instantly face forward] A man in business simply cannot fail to get noticed when he looks like this. They took one look at the mileage on the first car and they said that these cars were all knackered. What was my profit for the day? Past Alice. DOCTOR Didn't we?! Oh, you stupid man. MATILDA She holds the hat out to him. In the slip of a bolt, there's a tiny revolt. Million $ Sticky Host: The chances of existence almost infinitely small. But I shan't enjoy it, because of the despicable way in which you have spoken to me tonight. This living 'eLl. When I look in your eyes, I see a very kind soul. MR WORMWOODOh, this is thick! MISS TRUNCHBULL strides to the board. I think you've got something in your eye. Of course they didn't believe me: I've got green hair! Zinnia Wormwood: Think about what you want to say, and then say it in a creative, original way. The boy's a looney. AAAIIGHHH! Yeah, I got a boy, Mikey, and one mis-*take*, Matilda. No, not there! My daddy says I'm his special little . Wait, Dad, you're going too fast. MR WORMWOOD kicks her out of the way, talking on the telephone. You chose books. . What on earth did you do that for? Jenny : Quite the contrary. When you turn the corner, when you go to your cubbies to get your smelly coats, when you skip merrily to lunch, I'll be watching you, all of you, and especially you. MISS HONEY ", MATILDA and the ACROBAT'S SISTER [off-stage] Any children who object will go straight into the Chokey together! Lights up. . The desks descend into the ground. Don't be pathetic! Good-bye, Mrs Phelps. Look. [He brings out a load of cash and starts leafing through it.] MR WORMWOOD grabs his suitcase and exits along with the lackey. Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty! . Miss Honey: This little girl needs somebody strong to fight by her side. A shrimp. BIG KID [BEN] Over a drink. . Whoever painted The Trunchbull must have had a strong stomach. Four times two is eight. Roald Dahl's Matilda The Musical. DOCTOR In . My mummy says I'm a jumped-up little germ, Don't just stand there like a wet tissue. WOMAN: Smile for mummy! . MATILDA and ACROBAT [off stage] MICHAEL sits on his lap. The less you have to say, the louder you yell it. I mean, it's just not normal for a girl to be all . I'm sorry, doctor. Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. Matilda : I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of. MATILDA collects her books. You slithered like a serpent into the school kitchen and ate MY PERSONAL SNACK! [sees a painting of Ms. Trunchbull] RD.com. If you sit around and let them get on top, you . I mean . And then, my great, big, beautiful chocolate-y burp, which now seemed to have a mind of its own, wafted full into the face of the Trunchbull! Like hell! She says they make me look pretty! She misses me so much. Oh, my good Lord! 3 0 obj Keep out of reach of children. LAVENDER 'Twas written in the stars before they even met. I'm telling you, I didn't do it! MISS HONEY . "Right"? Are you looking for a good amount of pickup lines. As I was saying, Matilda. Two times . In . Harry Wormwood: Where's his fingie? She's probably having a meeting or something and won't want to be interrupted. Michael: Now, here's a tip: You don't need happiness or self-esteem. MISS TRUNCHBULL's office, complete with her in a high-backed chair (facing the back of the stage) is wheeled in. [the Trunchbull's car, sold to her by Harry Wormwood, has broken down, forcing her to haul it all the way back to her house]. % Someone poured a whole can of syrup onto Trunchbull's chair. [He tries and fails to pull his hat off, tugging on it several times.] What a pleasure to see you. COUPLES [She murmurs along to the music.] Might as well be saying you think that it's okay, And if it's not right, The entire assembly will stay five hours after school and copy from the dictionary! Lord knows we've tried. MISS HONEY, BIG KIDS, and CHILDREN I have to tell you, Headmistress, that in . Get in the car, Melinda! ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] . Agatha Trunchbull: Write this down. You seem to think that people like people what are clever. There's another crime in the making, your car is about to run a stop sign. Like, why is there a "d" in "fridge" but . Harry Wormwood: He always wears suits with loud plaid prints read analysis of Mr. Wormwood. I don't want another one. MATILDA But to me, they tell a deeper story. Your mommy is a TWIT! Ow! Oh, yes. Now, look. I'm gonna give you a tanning like you never had in your life! [as Harry switches on Matilda's lamp] I don't know. MISS HONEY No, it's a library book! 'Cause you've gotta highlight what you got. . [She puts the book in the cupboard and hurries to the hat rack with a bottle reading "sooper gloo". MISS TRUNCHBULL grabs AMANDA by the pigtails and swings her around and around. We don't want to burst a blood vessel on your first day. MISS TRUNCHBULL Mr. Wormwood: . Get the hell outta here! "I'm right and you're wrong, I'm big and you're small, and there's nothing you can do about it.". Suddenly, out came the Escapologist, dressed as usual in his tights and spangly costume. And my very favorite is a spoonful of Nutella. Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here. Harry Wormwood: A celebration of all the wonderful green things in the world, like, er, oh, like lettuce, and snot. The less you have to show, the louder you dress it. Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, AAAHH! He bites the cap, screaming through his teeth. Why would she want some snotty, disobedient kid? It's Miss Honey. Well done, Bogtrotter. Matilda Wormwood! Considerably roomier inside. Fifteen times two is thirty. Jenny: To survive this mess by Being a prince or a princess. 4. The DOCTOR and the CHILDREN sing into their stethoscopes. . They embrace and exit out the back of the stage. When I left my home, Aunt Trunchbull's home, I had to leave all my treasures behind. No one's going to listen if you don't shout. Am I . Zinnia Wormwood: From the grunt I had practiced for many a month? 2022 | Maturity Rating: PG | 1h 56m | Kids & Family Movies. Oh, I look nice. [She gets on all fours as RUDOLPHO rides her like a horse.] MR WORMWOOD His do-dah. And that's not right. Wouldn't you agree, Miss Honey? Mrs. F-F-I. MRS PHELPS is sitting on a block and MATILDA is standing on one, holding the two dolls. . Stupid, nasty, stinking, slimy . Stop! It's sweet and romantic, and it's doubtful she'll be able to resist your charm. WOMAN: She is clearly more emotionally developed than her peers. Why? Back before my life had ended, Alternate Versions and the great performers would instantly oblige with the most spectacular show, just for them. MISS HONEY, dazed, follows the dance as best she can. Jane Eyre . MATILDA opens a cupboard at the front of the stage. Matilda, you promised me you wouldn't go back in that house again. [He slides down on his thighs stage left.]. I'm fed up with all this reading! . MRS PHELPS retreats to the smaller block and sits down. MR WORMWOOD takes a mirror that MRS WORMWOOD brandishes. But Harry's ranting and raving gave Matilda the key to her power. You're heading for the chokey, young lady! Please! We're not rich. My, my, that is good. And Even if you put in heaps of eFfort, With her, it's all "books" and "stories". She puts down the large block and MATILDA stands on it. Yes, Miss Trunchbull! What do you want a book for? Tomorrow at one? MR WORMWOOD Is a miracle! And that's not right. MISS HONEY exits behind the stacks as the library scene rolls in. This means that pick-up lines are all about first impressions. Now EAT IT! Amanda Thripp: Crowd! Just knock on the door. Not a jot! Come stai? [He drags Matilda, throwing the book aside, to where Zinnia is]. A few! You what? You're a Wormwood, you start acting like one! Come on, Bruce, be our hero. BRUCE . Jenny: MRS WORMWOOD exits. RUDOLPHO MAN: Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here. And that's not a hint, by the way. Excellent man. From now on, this family does *exactly* what I say, when exactly, when I say it! But even you, Bruce, Harry Wormwood, owner, founder, whatever. Oh, cook . Matilda turns around and carrot is facing her. You see, unfortunately, Nigel suffers from the rare, but chronic sleep disorder, narcolepsy. Matilda: google_color_border="EDC7C2"; Dec 15, 2021 - Explore Matilda A.skott's board "pickup lines" on Pinterest. MATILDA RUDOLPHO You're only four years old. MISS HONEY MRS WORMWOOD Corny, sweet, and funny all in one. [throwing marshmallows as Matilda was grabbing the book that was thrown] Bambinatum! . You don't use sympathy or tenderness. They're all mistakes, children! BIG KIDS Agatha Trunchbull: Eat! We have everything . . Michael chokes the carrot]. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Matilda? Three times two is six. Sign in|Recent Site Activity|Report Abuse|Print Page|Powered By Google Sites. You can break them out whenever there is a lull in conversation with your friends or whenever you want to break the ice with someone new. [suspicious] AAAHH! . CHILDREN MAN: Have you seen his school report? They were written that way: So innocent I asked a thousand questions. And the second part is Chokey! With your stupid books and your stupid reading. Oh, that's where it's at! You have to force the little squits to toe the line! She rented it from this lovely rhubarb farmer for just $50 a month, and she covered it in honeysuckle, and she planted hundreds of wildflowers, and she moved out of her wicked aunt's house, and she finally got her freedom.

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